Today’s blog post is directed mostly towards live poker players, but I suppose you could use some of these tactics when dealing with jerks at online poker tables. If you have ever been stuck at a poker table with a rude, obnoxious (and often drunk) poker player, you already know how annoying it can be. Think about the person who flaunts his wins, talks trash to losing players and generally acts like a first class scumbag – that’s the guy I’m talking about today.

So how do you deal with these jerks?

You can deal with jerks in one of two different ways. The most recommended method is to ignore that person or at least keep your responses short with things like “nice hand” or “good call” and actually mean it. This is the best way to go because if you give any indication that the table jerk is getting to you, he is only going to double down on his efforts to get under your skin. Use your poker face.

It is also likely that the table jerk is a fish. As annoying as this person may be, you stand a good shot at taking his money. You do not want to say anything to discourage his bad play and you definitely don’t want to get into a poker strategy discussion at the table. Let the fish be fish.

The second route you can go is to actively try to encourage the behavior. Whenever the table jerk talks crap to you, go along with it. For example, if the jerk berates you for making a bad call, you can say something along the lines of “can’t win if you don’t play” or “just keeping you honest.” These are just random examples, but the point is to say things that will get under that person’s skin. Keep a smile on your face and play dumb.

The only danger to this route is that it can escalate the situation and cause problems for the other players at the table. People do get into fights at live poker rooms, and that’s the last thing you want to be involved in. Plus, you never know who is a harmless jerk and who is a psycho with a gun in his car.

The worst thing you can do is get serious with the table jerk. Do not try to argue with him with logic or by getting in his face. You lose the high ground the second you do that. You look weak and vulnerable to his attacks. Keep your cool at all times. You can smile or keep a straight face, but do not ever get serious or show the slightest hint of irritation.

If you start to feel like your emotions are getting the best of you, excuse yourself from the game and take a break. Go get some fresh air, walk around and come back to your seat. If that doesn’t do the trick, then find a new table. Remember, poker is all about money, not pride.